Sunday, May 1, 2011

"Imagination sets in...

...pretty soon I'm singing." - CCR

Here's today's FRER - 8dp3dt. Since yesterday I've used four Dollar Store HPTs. Two showed faint-faint-faint lines, two showed nothing. This started to crush my spirit. I thought that the massage I impulsively decided to get on Saturday may have triggered an early miscarriage. Why didn't I google "acupressure and pregnancy" before taking my top off? I'm convinced I brought this on myself. So, I went out and bought 3 more FRERs. Total spent on HPTs thus far this cycle = $80.

Do you see a second line? I think I do. And, this picture was taken within the timeframe you're supposed to read the result, unlike the last picture that was taken maybe an hour after. Are my eyes playing tricks on me? Is my subconscious willing my brain to register a second line? The uncertainty is killing me. If it doesn't work, I will be beyond crushed. I will drink an entire bottle of wine and smoke a full pack of cigarettes before crying myself to sleep. But if I could be one of the lucky ones this time...I can't even express how grateful I would be. I wouldn't take anything for granted. The statistics for IVF aren't as high as you might think (see: http://www.cdc.gov/art/). At my clinic, only approximately 48% of procedures for women in my age group result in a live birth - and they're ranked #2 in the US. That means more than half will fail. Please, please, please, let my failure be behind me.
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6 comments:

  1. My VegasMay 1, 2011 at 8:39 PM

    I see it! I got my first positive 4dp5dt with beta confirmation on 7dp5dt.

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  2. Baby HopesMay 1, 2011 at 11:39 PM

    Try to stay as calm as possible. I see a second line as well. Take care of yourself... rest. You are doing all that you can!

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  3. LeslieGailMay 2, 2011 at 3:29 PM

    I do see a faint second line too. I truly hope this is the one for you! We need more good news around here!

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  4. SarahMay 3, 2011 at 8:44 AM

    My laptop screen is crap so I can't really see it, but I am keeping my fingers crossed for you! Hoping it gets darker and darker and soon even I will be able to see it here :)

    I am here from Cycle Sista's. We are doing our FET for baby #2 in June :)

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  5. PaulaMay 3, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    Yay! I see it too. I am new to all of these blogs, but NOT new to IUI, IVF, etc. I am between IVF cycle 1 and 2... thought I was preg, but I think I am taking forever to get the next period. Good luck!

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  6. AmyMay 3, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    Thank you all so much. When you're going through this it's hard not to think that you're the only one. It's so amazing to find other women fighting against the same villan. I wish everyone all the luck in the world. With hope and time we can all kick this thing in the butt.

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