Wednesday, June 30, 2010

"Back in the saddle again...

...out where a friend is a friend." - Gene Autry

Getting back on the calendar for IVF round 2 is harder than I thought, and I can't place blame on my overbooked clinic. Besides the fact that my ass is still sore from early June's progesterone shots, the memories of the whole ordeal are still lingering. Some of my fondest:
  • Being home at the same exact time every day for 4 weeks
  • Getting poked and prodded in my arm, belly and lady bits daily
  • The sting of the Menopur
  • Unbridled aggression
  • General malaise

And the excuses are mounting. I'll call the doctor just as soon as I...finish this work project...change my insurance carrier...enjoy half of the summer...paint the den...see Paris. The fact is that I will not get pregnant without modern science so even trying at home is futile. Eventually I will make the call and start the whole mess again, but until I can convincingly remind myself that this is all worth (which it is), it's Sauvignon Blanc and Parliament lights for me.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

"Doctor, doctor give me the news...

... I've got a bad case of lovin' you." - Robert Palmer

Dx & Rx

Me: 33 - High FSH, possible DOR, stage 4 endometriosis, hypothyroidism
Him: 35 - no sperm problems, retrograde ejaculation

IVF #1 - Apr/May 2010

4/23: Estrogen patches and Ganirelix
4/27: AF
4/28: Start 450 Follistim / 150 Menopur / 20 Lupron
5/13: HCG trigger
5/14: ER - 10 eggs, 8 mature, 6 fertilized w/ICSI
5/17: ET 3 embies - 6 cell, 5 cell, 4 cell (all grade 2 out of 5).
5/24 to 5/28: HPTs = BFN
5/28: Pregnancy test - hCG = 0; E2 = 154
5/29: AF = BFN
6/1: Repeat bloodwork - day 3

IVF #2 - Jul/Aug 2010
To be continued...

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

"We were both young...

...when I first saw you" - Taylor Swift

For years we did all we could to prevent getting pregnant. Here we are, 17 years later, doing the exact opposite. My husband and I have been together since my sophomore year in high school (with plenty breaks over the years to experience others and live life). Two years ago we got married and have been trying to have a baby ever since.

On New Year's Eve 2009 I was told by the first reproductive endocrinologist I ever saw that my chances of conceiving a child were slim to none. What a way to start the year! Days of crying and weeks of research led me to Dr. D at Weill/Cornell's CRMI. He gave me hope...and lots of drugs. Nonetheless, IVF#1 failed.

With my hope still intact, I'm preparing for my second cycle. The first time around, I voraciously read every blog I could find on the topic. Some were funny, others brutally honest - all tremendously helpful. As homage to the women out there who post their stories for all to read and gain encouragement, I've decided to start my own. Here's hoping I can do the same for another scared girl out there. It's not as bad as you may think and you are stronger than you know.