"Imagination sets in...

...pretty soon I'm singing." - CCR

Here's today's FRER - 8dp3dt. Since yesterday I've used four Dollar Store HPTs. Two showed faint-faint-faint lines, two showed nothing. This started to crush my spirit. I thought that the massage I impulsively decided to get on Saturday may have triggered an early miscarriage. Why didn't I google "acupressure and pregnancy" before taking my top off? I'm convinced I brought this on myself. So, I went out and bought 3 more FRERs. Total spent on HPTs thus far this cycle = $80.

Do you see a second line? I think I do. And, this picture was taken within the timeframe you're supposed to read the result, unlike the last picture that was taken maybe an hour after. Are my eyes playing tricks on me? Is my subconscious willing my brain to register a second line? The uncertainty is killing me. If it doesn't work, I will be beyond crushed. I will drink an entire bottle of wine and smoke a full pack of cigarettes before crying myself to sleep. But if I could be one of the lucky ones this time...I can't even express how grateful I would be. I wouldn't take anything for granted. The statistics for IVF aren't as high as you might think (see: http://www.cdc.gov/art/). At my clinic, only approximately 48% of procedures for women in my age group result in a live birth - and they're ranked #2 in the US. That means more than half will fail. Please, please, please, let my failure be behind me.